gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
