I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
