So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
