So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize