filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
