I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
