do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
