you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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