david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
