They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
