shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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