I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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