I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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