Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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