she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
