just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize