Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
