im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
