Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
