That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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