Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
