Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
