I seem to have left my pride at pride
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
