nut hugger
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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