On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
jump out the window naked night went bad
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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