Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
