Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
