So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
