If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
