is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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