his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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