Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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