garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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