After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
