dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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