My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
