Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
