he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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