Sry I called you an 8
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
