go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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