am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
