also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
