If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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