We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
