Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
