So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
