Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
