so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
