when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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