Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
