Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize