I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
50% drunk capacity currently
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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