She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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