i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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