I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
