Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
