O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
