Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
