dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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